On being a mom

May 8, its my first Mother's Day. It's been six months as a mom and I must say that it's really tiring and stressful yet fulfilling. The commercial of Lucky Me is very true. "Ma, mahirap po bang magbuntis?, the daughter asked. Then, the mother replied, "Oo, anak pero mas mahirap maging ina."

I would lie if I would say that I don't miss being a single. I miss hanging out with my friends. I miss the adventure of going from places to another and to another. I miss owning my time without worrying about a baby crying. I miss doing what I want and no baby to breastfeed and to change diaper. But I would not and would never want to turn back to the time where I am on my own. Being a mom is rich and rewarding but it also give stain on my mood. I feel helpless sometimes. Sometimes I wanted to shout to lessen the stress and frustrations that I feel. I got exhausted and sometimes angry and in the end i will feel guilty. That is what they call postpartum depression and they say it's just normal especially to a first-timer mom like me. As time goes by I will encounter so many ups and downs as a mother. Motherhood is really a roller-coaster ride.

I won't exchange being a mom to being a single. I love my precious baby although she's hard to take care of. I love the innocence and every bit of her. I love her soft touch on my face and hands. I love how she look on my eyes, the spark of her eyes which shows that she loves me too. I love to see her smile then giggle. I love spoon feeding her and saying "Baby, mmm... that's yummy". I love hearing her cute little voice calling me "ma-ma-my" especially when she's hungry. I love humming her a lullaby and let her sleep on my chest or tummy. I love playing with her doing high fives, aligns and soft untugan.

I love my baby Raine Averie "Avie" beyond measure. She brings joy to my world and it outweighs all the hard work I've done. Eventually, she will learn how to talk and walk, run and slide, tripped and fell to the ground then stand up all by herself. Later on she can manage to feed and clean herself. Soon enough she will go to school, meet new friends and go to other places without me. I'm not sad for it's part of life of being a mother and a child should grow up. I will cherish and treasure every moment and milestone I have with her for today she's a baby and tomorrow she's a lady. I will be very glad seeing her learning the world I used to live. I learned that being a mother is not about giving birth, it's about giving the best for your child. 

There's no such thing as perfect mother, we do mistakes as we walk the journey of motherhood but what is important is that we correct it right away and learned from it so that our children will grow as good individuals. We are what our child is. Their achievement is our achievement. Their smile is our happiness. And definitely, their tears is our sadness.  Anna Quindlen is right, "Raising children is presented at first as true-false test, then becomes multiple choice, until finally, far along, you realize that it is an endless essay." Being a mother is also being a teacher and a student. you have to talk a lot but you also have to listen. You have to be mad sometimes but you also have to be patient. I have learned a lot as a mother and I will continue to learn.